Sunday, August 29, 2010

今天的失亂

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煉獄就在你我的腳邊,看到嗎?

……

從電影院出來,屍行到書局,今天似乎人多了一點,陌生感強了。在門口附近拿起了一本,繼續走;每一行都站著三幾個人,不要有任何觸碰,唯有在外圍瀏覽特別推介的;又拿起了一本,繼續走。

捧著兩本書,買書於我實有點諷刺;念頭湧起,一個送書計劃立刻成了雛形,想想有點像招聘殺手進行暗殺計劃一樣,頗有點滿足感,心也失笑。再拿起一本,放下,取走旁邊的另一本。三本夠了。計劃留待遲一些再完整一下吧。

移步朝那旅遊書的角落,想搜尋某天在那裡遺下的兩行淚。在兩個人中間後面搜望,找那幻彩綠色封面的,看不見,遲疑了一下要否步前動手翻;最後當然沒有,就走。


* * * * * *


曾經有兩年多的時間,家裡是沒有電視機的;也沒有電腦。有朋友枉費了心思,送我一套據說不錯的 hi-fi,還加送幾套 CD,我只聽過兩次。朋友們總皺著眉不解的笑,我也總回以聳肩俏皮一笑。

然後一天,我搬了,置了電視機。每當在家,都會開著。


* * * * * *


自那天以後,領帶不再送其他人了。


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Friday, August 27, 2010

一點二九天的速寫

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一點二九天裡
顛沛在無邊的咖啡杯內
同場加影丟人的雜耍
匍匐那長長的三十分鐘
再來一個魔術表演
咫尺間
涼涼的
變暖暖的
可幸技藝未精
暖暖的
變不成涼涼的
換個項目
勇攀九十度
仰天觀景一百八十度
定形


(22/8/2010 23:34)


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Thursday, August 26, 2010

Reigno Jose Dilao 帶來的一些些

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上文轉載菲律賓少年 Reigno Jose Dilao 的信,只是想簡單表達心裏的一個想法。

看多一些、聽多一些、想多一些些。

沒有深究少年是否都如我們一樣目睹慘劇的全部過程,是否清楚理解我們憤怒的原因,我只會想像他縱使活在這個國家只有十五年,他所耳聞的,目睹的、經歷的和感受的,可能會是在你我所認知以外。但同時,字裡行間,處處都能嗅到少年的熱切與純真。

昨天看到有網友提及,不是菲律賓的人沒用,是菲律賓的男人沒用,他們已經令兩代的菲律賓女人離鄉別井,遠赴他國做家傭,養家活口;這也就是 Dilao 信中的 “serving other countries” 背後的悲酸。

這邊廂看見寡婦孤兒向靈柩獻花,哭別至親,不禁泫然。

然後,我想到,想到就在我們不太遙遠的那個地方,住了九千多萬人,他們究竟是生活在一個怎麼的國度?他們的遠景又會是怎樣?

又然後,我又想到,想到輕輕撥弄一下地球儀,目下又會展示出多少地方、多少人民,同是活於水深火熱中?

事件的發生,會即時影響菲律賓的旅游業,繼而亦可能影響輸出勞工,這將會大大影響他們的外匯收入。這點,十五歲的 Dilao 都意識到很重要。但他又真的看見自己國家的窩囊處,令八個遊客無辜枉死、四個大好家庭被拆散,怎不難過、難堪!

難過、難堪,又怎能不想起槍手 Mendoza 的家人?

Dilao 的信並沒有甚麼慷慨陳詞,他就是不卑不亢、簡單、真摯地訴說自己的想法、感受。我甚至想作一個假設,即使這封信並不是真的出自這個少年的手,我的讀後感都不會有基本的差異。

我仍然願意相信,我們周遭雖然都充斥著無比醜惡,人性的真與善還沒有被掩蓋。

祝愿梁頌學能夠渡過這一個關頭,祝愿事件中所有的生還者身心都能慢慢康復過來。祝愿 Dilao 能夠成為一個有用的菲律賓男人。


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Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Reigno Jose Dilao 致全世界的信

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WE ARE SORRY.

As you are reading this letter, I bet that you have seen/heard about what happened earlier in our country.

Tourists were hostages of a policeman here, Rolando Mendoza. After a few hours of the horrible crime, some of the victims were dead including the hostage-taker.

I wrote this letter not just to apologize but also to let everyone know that we Filipinos are not all like Mendoza. We are loving and good-hearted people.

For so many years, our country has been standing tall and surpassing every dilemma; be it small or big. Years ago (back when I wasn’t born yet), you have watched us fight for what we think is right. We fought for the democracy of our nation.. The EDSA revolution. But that’s just one out of many.

Second. We Filipinos have been serving other countries for our families and we treat you as our own as well. With all due respect, I thank you all for giving us the trust through the years. For helping us to become what we are now.

The Philippines is more than just a group of islands. We are a nation of strong and remarkable people. A country of beauty and love known to be hospitable and well-valued. I humbly apologize for what happened tonight. No one in this world would want something like that to happen for life should be valued.

I politely ask the attention of the world. Please do not judge and mistreat us just because of what happened tonight. I have been searching the net and found terrible things. Hong Kong advices to avoid travels here, China and HK bans Filipinos and that Philippines is the worst place to go.

I can’t blame you for what you have decided but I hope that you could understand. Our country is now in a sea of problems. And I know for sure that we helped you in a way or another. Let peace and understanding reign this time.

I know that this letter will just be trash but I wish that you would understand. On behalf of the Philippine population.. WE ARE SORRY.

As a song puts it…

And I believe that in my life I will see an end to hopelessness, giving-up and suffering. And we all stand together this one time then no one will get left behind. Stand up for life. STAND UP FOR LOVE

Sincerely yours,
Reigno Jose Dilao


(十五歲的 Dilao,志願是成為一位記者。)


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Tuesday, August 24, 2010

悲。憤

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一夜過後,我仍然憤怒!

甚麼醫者心!甚麼愛主愛人!

為甚麼不能簡簡單單、乾乾淨淨的哀悼?!

這個時候說出這些話,

你比槍手更冷血!


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Thursday, August 12, 2010

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

只…想…

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當回憶就是唯一的資產
思念,只是條件反射





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我說冷風無力令老樹搖動
你說雪花飄忽灰色天地中
厚厚信紙卻不可以抱擁
只有透著紙背塑造你面容

我說氣溫前夜令我著涼後
你說最好多飲溫馨的熱酒
我卻已經再不需要處方
早已過時的語句如何問候

我沒法再知
現在現在你哭或笑
說了吃了多少怎會不重要
這道理我懂
然而事實並沒法相信
情若真的久遠
不在乎平常分秒

如何明白凌晨在你是黎明
你我那可分享偏差的繁星
我看我的信紙堆滿卻無聲
彷似你在觀看雨或雪
但誰能做證



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Sunday, August 01, 2010

退

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是退役嗎?
可退化才是哩。
號令發了,
都加速了,
沒由得選擇,
只再勉力撿起每粒舊音符,
當兩剎那新樂章的啦啦隊。

你還沒有聽過我唱…


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